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Endless Rain Untold Stories D1 by ~Acrocat:iconAcrocat:



Endless Rain
Untold Stories
Divine Stories 1: The Coming of Afrain
© Acrocat

It was a long time ago. Our valley has not always been the Valley of Endless Rain. To us this place is full of misery. Long ago this was a place of hope. But let me start at the beginning.
When this beautiful world came into existence it was given to a handful of magical creatures: Fairies, Humans and Demons. They all lived and thrived in this world, and there was peace. There was one flaw however, as there were no illnesses, no poverty, no wars and no dying of old age. Generation after generation of new magical creatures were born, while none died. The land grew crowded and soon creatures left to search new land to live in, until there was no land left. The cheerful conversations were more often replaced by angry shouts, as corruption began to spread. Greed, arrogance, hatred, vanity and many other negative emotions spread as fast as a bunny can reproduce. Especially the Demons and the Humans were much affected by this spread. War was inevitable.
It started when a Human insulted a Demon for being in his way. The Demon insulted him back, but the Human was backed up by the other Humans. Grudgingly the Demon left to return home. There he told his family of what’d occurred, and they in turn decided to teach the Human a lesson in humility. As first it was merely an ugly fist-fight, but over time it grew to be more serious. Both sides gathered allies and soon two forces met each other on open ground. Nobody could even remember why they were there, but they still wanted to see the blood of their foe. Other fights over simple things broke out to add to this one struggle, and turned it into a war nobody bothered to resolve.
During the seemingly never-ending war a clash of powerful magics, used for purposes it was never to be used for, occurred and backfired, causing mortality among the ones hit. This mortality caused a serious diminishing of the world population. The Demons took most casualties, because the mortal ones were considered inferior to their immortal fellows. If the mortal ones weren’t killed in combat, their family surely would. The Humans fought most bravely and with cunning. When their magic failed, they devised new ways of fighting, and, even though there were many mortals, their numbers made it possible for them to win many battles. The Fairies were at times the ones to suffer the most. These small creatures were calm and wise, and were mostly able to resist negative emotions. Still their houses were destroyed when the other two met in combat.
After a while the skies became dark and covered with evil-looking clouds. The crops hardly saw any sun, and the rain coming from the dark clouds was sour. The land of this once beautiful world became inhabitable. But then a small ray of hope came forward. Hardly any Human was magical anymore, except for a few, and it was among them that a man stood up and said that he had enough of this foolishness. He took all who would follow him, Humans and Fairies, and searched for a bit of peaceful land. He also appealed to the Demons, but they merely laughed at him and chased him away.
The man was called Afrain, and he led the survivors to new lands. They travelled for months and lost many people along the way, but eventually found a valley, hardly touched by the devastation outside it, and named it the Valley of Hope. The survivors made new homes and lived together in peace, guided by the wisdom of Afrain.

To be continued...
©2008-2009 ~Acrocat
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Submitted: August 21, 2008
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Author's Comments

This is my second Untold Story for Endless Rain. It's part of a much larger story which I've devided into smaller bits for the reader's convenience.

About Divine Stories Part 1: The Coming of Afrain
It basically predates everything so far and even reaches back to the creation of the world. We already knew that the Valley of Endless Rain was not always called like that. Once the valley was connected to the world outside, until Layou decided to take a visit. I wondered, how did it happen that Afrain came here? And what's the world outside the valley like? This rather short first part tells us the very beginning.

Update
Added some tekst to increase the flow of reading in this part. It's not great, but the focus of this series lies in the continuing parts anyway...

Progress
Part 2 and 3 are also ready, and part 4 is almost done, but I'll upload one every few days. There are also some things I want to synchronize with what's been already told in the regular storyline. I don't know how many parts there will be. I'm basically writing the story as a whole and when it's convenient I'll break it off. I do think it'll either come to 6, 7 or perhaps even 8 parts.

Enjoy! And let me know if things are in need of changing.

Next: [link]
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Comments


Hmm ... interesting... but I thought the whole idea of the Valley was that after Afrain's children were poisoned and made mortal, they made their tribes in the Valley of their own children. At least, thats what it sounded like when reading Tiamat's little bedtime story. You might want to re-read it.

And a few of your transitions were a little fast... like between "War was inevitable" and "During the seemingly endless war" you should have a short paragraph of its own, maybe even just a sentence, that says something like "And thus it came (the war)."

I find the information very interesting, and can't wait to read more parts... just thought the flow could be a little better, because it feels a little "pushed" to me. The part is very short, you could lengthen it just a tad to make the flow better. Give a bit better description... or something. :P

NEways... thats enough from me. ^_^;;

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(\/)
( . .)
c(")(") "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." ~Anonymous
lol I liked it :p I had no idea you were working on writing the entire backstory of the world :p (I suggest careful reading through the timeline entries on the wiki to avoid mistakes :p).
Though I thought Afrain MADE the valley around the poisoned plants :o though he could just have made the walls around the valley :p could be either way depending on how you look at it ^__^

--
Q: "You and the Enterprise weren't thrown back in time accidentally, were you?"
Spock: "No..."
Q: "Ha! So it has to be that lob-sided dougnut thing."
Spock: "Ah, the Guardian of Forever. Do you know it?"
Q: "Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt."
At this point the group is a mixture of mortal and magical people. After Layou's attack and poisoning of the fruits the threat of mortality comes back and a lot of people get killed. After Afrain leaves, the few survivors need to rebuild what was destroyed and are guided by that by Afrain's kids. That part is still to come though :).

I'll see what I can do to give it a better flow.

--
I could say that I like it, but I always say that.
I could say it is great, but that would be boring.
I could say it's your best work ever, but who am I to judge for that?
Therefor I say nothing, but just gape and drool at the picture.
I'm already using the timelines and even the parts themselves. So far i don't think I've made any mistakes yet.
The way I see it is that the valley was already there, but that Afrain sealed it off after Layou's imprisoned to avoid any further attacks. You'll find out about the valley in part 2 ^.^

--
I could say that I like it, but I always say that.
I could say it is great, but that would be boring.
I could say it's your best work ever, but who am I to judge for that?
Therefor I say nothing, but just gape and drool at the picture.
Long as you're not contradicting the original story. :P

--
(\/)
( . .)
c(")(") "Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine." ~Anonymous
Okiedo :p

--
Q: "You and the Enterprise weren't thrown back in time accidentally, were you?"
Spock: "No..."
Q: "Ha! So it has to be that lob-sided dougnut thing."
Spock: "Ah, the Guardian of Forever. Do you know it?"
Q: "Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt."
I finally got around to reading it and I love it! I am so curious...

--
:snowflake: Kitty 'Kitt' Ocean
Tsunami -[link]
Serenay Moon - [link]
Kitty Ocean's Boredom -[link]
'Everybody tells me I'm smart, and then I laugh about their stupidity'

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